You Can Become More Resilient, Even if You Grew Up With Emotional Neglect
Grammy-Winning Jazz Artist Gregory Porter On Staying Resilient And True To Your Passions
Gregory Porter with his trademark Kangol hat and flaps “You get a setback–you have to make a change.”
Nobody ever says, “Hey kid. You want to be a success? Become a jazz musician.” How did you overcome the usual obstacles to succeed where so many have floundered?
Succeed? I’m gonna do that next year [laughs]. No, the word I keep using is organic. I always find new energy somehow. There’s always a new element, always a new song. My mother used to quote scripture and say, “He that believeth in me, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water.” Seems that way for me. Things I care about help me grow and stay creative. There’s no shortage of cruelty in the world, but there’s also no shortage of beautiful thing that can inspire. I live my life and try to express and try to feel what I see in melody. That never runs dry. It’s like grass that never stops growing on a hillside….
You Can Become More Resilient, Even if You Grew Up With Emotional Neglect
Do you ever wish you could be less affected when difficult things happen in your life?
Challenging life circumstances, like a lay-off, marital problems, or severe financial difficulties, can take their toll on anyone. But if you grew up with parents who weren’t able to provide you with the emotional attention and validation you needed (Childhood Emotional Neglect, or CEN), you may struggle even more. And there are some very good reasons for that.
First I want to tell you about an important study on resilience, and then we’ll talk about the special case of Childhood Emotional Neglect
An important study (Maddi, S. R., 1987) followed 400 people going through extreme hardship in their jobs, to see who thrived through it, and who folded under the pressure. They found that three personal traits separated the thrivers from the folders…
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